Changes

Life is always changing.  I know that.  I don't always like the changes, but it does.  Some changes, involving people I know, have not been very good.  Some changes in my life have been good.  Andy accepted the pastorate at our church.  I believe this is a change God wanted, and although it is a little scary realizing that I am a pastor's wife, I have willingly accepted it. 
  When I was younger, any new change in my life seemed to really freak me out!  I was scared about marriage, yet with Andy everything seemed right.  I was very afraid of moving to Indianapolis after getting married, when Andy was trying to finish his computer degree.  We only lived in Indy about a year, but I now love Indy.  I was scared about having babies, now Andy and I have four beautiful daughters.   
  I have always been afraid of putting myself out there, for the world to see. I have been very shy in years past.  It has taken me a long while to do things, that I have thought about doing (some of that is procrastination too). I am not as afraid as I used to be of changes.  I try to take changes as they come and not stress   I look to God to help me through the changes.  He knows best,(even though sometimes I think I know best, I do not).  God knows which paths I need.  I know He will guide me in every new path I take.  I am so glad that He never changes!  If life turns upside down, He is there!  If I find life to be wonderful, He is there! 
Thank you, Lord, for being with me in all changes, good and bad!

Blogging for books: The Harvest of Grace by Cindy Woodsmall.

I have meant to post this for a bit.  I really enjoyed this book.  I had not read any by Cindy Woodsmall before.  This book is the third in a series.  I have not read the other two, but the author shares some information to bring you up-to-date.
    This story follows Sylvia Fisher, a young Old Order Amish woman, as she is facing the challenge of dairy farming.  She has decided to move away from home to help another dairy farmer who has arthritis problems.   Her Daed did not wish her to move away, but because of her former beau, she chooses this path.
      Aaron, is the son of this dairy farmer, and returns home after rehab.  He does not want to farm though.  He wants to take his parents to Owl Perch to take care of a store.  So from the beginning, Aaron and Sylvia are at odds with each other.  But of course, God can guide them together.
   This a good story of faith.   Sylvia has to learn to trust again.  Aaron is learning to overcome his problems with his family.  They are forced to work together in the fields and in the dairy.  Sylvia has to realize that you can not run from problems, but must face them head on.  Aaron is willing to face his parents, but he isn't sure that he wants to face a farmers' life.
    This story has the characters from the two previous stories also.  So those who have read the other two stories, will enjoy reading more about Cara Atwater Moore, and Lena Kauffman as their stories unfold more as well.   
  I  received this book free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group as part of their Blogging For Books program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16CFR, Part 225: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Girls

Our house is full.... full of girls! When I was pregnant with RaeAnn, we wanted her to be a surprise, so we didn't find out what she was until the day she was born.  With all the other girls, we wanted to know.
  When I was pregnant with Reagan (#3), I was hoping that she would be a boy.  Now, of course, I would not change her.  With Macy, I only hoped slightly that she might be a boy.
   I am so very thankful for the girls, though!  I love them all very much, I would not trade them.  People ask if we will try for a boy. I am not sure of that.  Four children is a lot.
   I have seen boys that are more active than my girls (several).  I have seen boys be tornadoes through the house.  Of course, my girls can cause messes, and I have seen a few girls who are active and tornadoes like some of the boys.  But I would not change my girls.  They are what God gave Andy and I.  I am soo thankful for them.  I cannot say that enough.  I have seen friends who want a child or children and not have them.    Andy and I have these four wonderful children.   Andy just smiles when someone says he is out numbered.  So....boys in my house... well, Andy anyway.

Blogging for Books Review: The One Day Way by Chantel Hobbs

Chantel is a great motivator in this book. She wants you to take one small step each day, looking only on each day. One day at a time, you can challenge yourself to take small steps to a new you. One small change each day to work to a larger goal.

 

This is a great way to look at any challenge in life. So whether you are looking to loss weight or make another change, this book can help.

 

If you follow Chantel's plan of change, not looking back on yesterdays mistakes, or worrying about the future, you can follow the one day way. Every day is a fresh start. Another day to make another change accepting only this day as the building blocks for tomorrow. She has an exercise plan to follow and a few meal ideas to help.

 

Although faith is discussed in this book, it is more generalized to having faith in yourself. She does talk of God, just not to a great extent. She should have put God forward more than she did, since this is considered a Christian book. If you are looking for a good encouraging read though, this is a good one to choose.

 

I received this book free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group as part of their Blogging For Books program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16CFR, Part 225: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Macy is 6 months.

                                               "In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."  I Thessalonians 5:18

  I am so thankful for Macy reaching six months!.  At first, I wondered if she would get this far.  She had a few seizures a couple of days after her birth, then she was rushed up to the hospital in Champaign.  I did not realize at the time that a lot of kids end up having seizures in childhood.
I remember that I was terrified for my little one when they said that they were going to air lift her to Champaign.  Andy and I drove up there.  They wouldn't let us hold her when we saw her there in the neonatal unit.  I had just got to hold her too.  She had meconium in her lungs when she was born, and they put her on a c pack that just gave her extra oxygen I believe.  So when she got off of that I was allowed to hold her.  She was just trying to get the hang of nursing, since they feed her some formula first.  Then the seizure or seizures happened.
I was upset at the nurses in Champaign.  The doctors too. They were observing her for any seizure activity.  I did not care about that.  I wanted my baby.  I cried and cried that night.  Andy and I got to stay at a house there in Champaign that helps people stay near their loved one for FREE.  That was neat, but I wanted my baby.  That is what I kept thinking.
  After a day or so, I wondered what was with me being so sad.  I had prayed about Macy, but had not turned the situation over to God.  That day I did.  I told God that I would be thankful for the time I had with Macy.  I would go on, and be glad in the situation.  Not glad that Macy was in the hospital, but glad in my heart for whatever time I could have with Macy.  At that time, I thought she might die.
  I had been thinking of the little Precious Moments boy who dropped his ice cream and the dog was licking it up.  It says beside him, "Praise the Lord Anyway".  I told God that I was going to praise Him no matter what was happening with Macy.  I was going to be happy in what I did have.  Not think about not getting to hold Macy, etc.
  They did all kinds of tests on poor Macy.  She had an iv for the first few days there and had had some little needles just under her scalp for a bit. (to show her brain waves).  She did have some more seizure activity.  They did put her on medicine. (which she had to take for the first few months of her life).  I did get to hold her again and I still get to hold her everyday.  I have been able to nurse her even after having to pump milk for the first week of her life.  She was born on the 21st and we finally got to take her home on New Years Eve.
  That was a hard time.   I knew that with God I would get through it.  Some people asked Andy how I was doing.  Some thought that I would be doing bad, but Andy said I was doing well.  The only reason why I did  well was God.  He walked me through my time of need.  I continued to praise Him for all the good in my life, and I got through.  I praise Him for helping me through that time!
  I had changed my blog name from Writer to Having Faith to remind myself to have faith.  I want to remind myself to rest in my Saviour.  To do as I should and rest in Him.  I know sometimes I find it hard to just rest in God.  So reminders from His Word, and the title of this blog are great reminders to me.  God never fails!  God is good, all the time!

Anniversary trip & I Love Lucy

  We took an anniversary trip to St. Louis.  Since I am nursing Macy, we decided to bring her along.  We got to St Louis early,  and first went to the art museum.  Macy was mostly okay there.  We went back to the van, and I fed and changed Macy.  We went over to the St Louis zoo just to eat lunch, (they are both in the forest park area)as we were not too impressed with the art museums lunch selection.  Macy was getting upset with me by then.  Since Andy is a fast eater, he took Macy to see the monkeys while I finished my lunch. (We had told RaeAnn that we weren't going to the zoo, which was the orginal plan, so we didn't stay to look at the rest of the animals).
  We walked over to the huge fountain area next.  I used my cover up and fed Macy a bit here as well.  (She is a snacker most of the time).  We walked over to the history museum after this.  The history museum turned out to be a slightly longer walk than we had thought.  I ended up carrying Macy for at least part of the way.  She was getting sleepy, but fighting it.  She feel asleep in my arms, but only for a little bit.  I put her back in the stroller, only to have to pick her back up soon after.  I really enjoyed the 1904 World's Fair part of the museum.  I hope to learn more about it now.  I had to stop and feed Macy here as well.  As I said, she is a snacker.  
  By now it was 5, and we decided to go to St. Mills Mall.  This mall is huge with an indoor ice rink, go cart track, carrosuel, mini golf, kid play area, and now a mini train that goes throughout the mall.  We just walked around, browsing there.  We saw a rainbow on the way out.
  We ate at Outback Steakhouse at about 7:30.  Macy was getting pretty tired by now.  She had not slept much all day.  She usually doesn't sleep much during the day, so by 7 or 8, she is ready for bedtime.  She reminds me of Reagan at this age.  Macy was happy for part of the dinner.  Then, she got really upset, so before I was done eating, I took her out to the van to feed her and get her ready for bed.  Andy brought the rest of my dinner out for me.
  So we were all getting tired and ready to rest by this time.  Andy went to the Ramada Inn that he thought he had reservations at.  Well, it turned out that the reservation was at a different Ramada just a few miles away.  We could see this other Ramada from the interestate, but when we got off the interestate, we had trouble finding the road we needed.  Andy stopped to ask for directions.  We got to the Ramada, and we were supposed to have a king sized bed.  Well, the interenet reservations were overbooked for king sized beds, so we would have to take two double beds.  We weren't mad about it, just disappointed.  Macy was sound asleep at this time.  When we got to our room door, Andy used the card key, and pushed the handle UP, it did not open.  He tried again.  It was not budging.  He then read what he should have read first.  The handle must be pushed DOWN to open.  We had never had a motel door do that before.  Either way you push the handle usually had worked.  (I was ready to have Andy go tell them that we got a defective key or something).
  We got in the room to find that the closet door could not close (it was stuck), it had a crack in the glass as well, so Andy told me to leave it alone.  I was wanting it to close though, I just would have felt better if it was closed go figure.  We ended up sleeping separately in the double beds to have more room (we have a queen at home, and a king at Andy's mom's, so we are used to space).  So I started thinking that this was like an I Love Lucy episode. 
So the next day....we were offered a cold breakfast of fig newtons, honey buns, plain bagels, and Eggo waffles.  They did have a toaster and microwave.  We did enjoy the waffles, and I ate a couple fig newtons, but we did stop at McDonald's to have a sausage biscuit. (The other Ramada had had a wonderful free hot breakfast with real plates even that is why we wanted to stay there again). 
  We headed over to Meramac Caverns.  We paid and were just starting the tour, when Macy decided to start crying.  It is somewhat dark in there, and I think that was her problem.  I try to take her to a darkened room to get her to nap during the day.  The tour guide asked if we would be alright.  I said that we would as long as she feel asleep.  She did not fall asleep, but calmed down for at least part of the tour.  I enjoyed the cave, but did not find it to be chilly as others had told me.  I was sweating carrying Macy, and took off my jacket before the tour was finished.  (they do not allow strollers on the tour).

  Andy and I were laughing and saying that nothing was going right for the trip, but that it was a good sign we could laugh about it. Andy says he isn't sure that he wants to take a baby on an anniversary trip again.  We did have fun though- spending time together.

Riding mower

I always have wondered why so many men act like mowing on a riding lawnmower is hard work.  I mean, it is just sitting, riding.  At our church, we have a riding mower.  Well, Andy usually uses it.  He told me I was a terrible stick picker-upper, so he was just going to have me mow the front church yard while he picked up sticks. (I found out as I mowed that he had missed some sticks also, easy to do when grass is slightly taller).  Well, I ended up mowing the whole yard.  He didn't come back out when I had the front finished, and I just kept going.
I was having fun.  I thought it was neat mowing on a riding mower.  It is simple work.  Just drive, shift for faster speeds, or hold break to reverse then go forward again.  Now,  I did not like that the sun was beating down on me, or the occasional grass that flung itself at me.  But for the most part, I did enjoy it.
I told Andy afterward that I had liked driving it.  He said apparently.  I guess he thought that I would come get him when I finished the front yard.  He had not said that though so I didn't.  I did feel more tired than usual later. I did feel sweaty and dirty also.  I figured out why my father in law wears ear plugs while he mows. ( I had a vibrating noisy sound in my ears for a slight bit afterward).
I know that a riding mower is not a toy, and did not use it as such!  But I am more than willing to ride than just mow with a regular mower. (Andy does mow our lawn).

Feeling frustrated!

I have intended this blog for writing.  I am writing.  But the first few blogs, I have been very critical of every word that I have typed.  I am not going to do that anymore.  The more I do that, the less pleasure I am going to have in writing in the first place.  I am frustrated with myself for being critical.  I need to write this in my way, my style, and not worry about what others may think or say!  I am not even going to go back and read what I have written this time!
So I say.  I paused just now to start a new paragraph.  I almost read the first paragraph.  Okay, I should check my writing some I am sure, but it took me forever to post the other blogs.   Just so I could portray a few thoughts.  I added to them, then deleted.  I changed the way I said some things.
I want this to be relaxed writing.  At least, in the sense, that I do not overly critique myself.  I want this to be like a journal that I am sharing with others.  I love to write.  I love to write letters. (when I have time).  I love to put words on empty pages.  I like to write poetry which I haven't done much of lately.  I have many unfinished stories.  I want to do this. 
So, I am going to try to relax, and just have fun with this.  And hopefully get a background I want to stay on it.  The last background went away.  I thought that I saved it, but now it is gone.  I can not find it again.  I will spell check this.  But I am not going to reread every detail of it, just so I can think later that I am not sure I like the post. 
I want my writing to be natural.  The way I talk to friends in letters.  (well, at least sometimes, I over analyze them sometimes too)/  What fun will it be to do that?  If this blog is crazy, unorganized and dumb, oh well.  I will get over it.  I will reread it later!  (I will decide then if I like it).

Let us go to the house of the Lord.

"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together" Hebrews 10:25a

I was NOT at church this past Sunday morning.   I had a sick kiddo.  RaeAnn had came down with a cold.  So I was home with her.  Now Reagan and Morgan are sick.  So I probably will not be attending services tomorrow.  I do not like to miss.  Even when I end up in the nursery with Macy, sometimes missing the sermon, I believe, it is important to be there. 
Not just for me.  I need to be there for my family,  I want to show the girls that it is important to go to the Lord's house on Sundays, and to a midweek service.    I enjoy the fellowship with other believers as well.
  Sometimes I am tired on Sunday mornings, sometimes I feel kind of ho hum, and just don't feel like going to church.  I do not stay home though.  I go.  I need to be fed from God's Word.  I need to sing with other believers.  I feel like my week is out of place without attending the house of God.  When we go on vacation trips, Andy finds us a place of worship to meet with other believers.  We do not take vacations from the house of God.  As a born again believer, I need to go.
The devil would love for me to stay home, missing out on the food I need.  I read God's Word daily,  but from church, I can get more spiritual food.  This helps me to grow in Christ. So I'm hoping that by this next Sunday, everyone is well again, so we can all attend together.

Hearing

"In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried to my God: and he did hear my voice out of his temple, and my cry did enter into his ears."  2 Samuel 22:7

I was in a talkative mood tonight as we drove back to my mother in laws after church.  After awhile of just me talking, I asked Andy if he was listening.  He pretended to take out (or put in, I couldn't tell which) earplugs.   Anyway, it was supposed to be a sign of him not listening.   I had talked all that time, and did he really hear anything I said to him?  I'm not sure.  To his credit, he had worked all night, then not had much sleep today.  I know when I am half asleep, I'm not always fully listening.
Well, I was thinking about God.  He doesn't close his ears to His children.  He listens.  Even at 4 am!  He doesn't get sleepy, He pays attention.  I am glad that He hears me.  I know, to my shame, I should pray more than I do.   I do not cry into the Lord as often as I should.  Yes, I get busy with 4 children.  Yes, I have work I need to do.  But I do need to pray and pray often.
I do know this also- that God will hear when I am distressed, troubled, or even happy.  He is ready to hear from me.  "Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer."  Psalms 61:1   I love that He is ready to listen me.

What to be...

Okay, this may be simple and sweet.  (Or unsweet if I bore my readers).
My mom filled out a school year by year book for me.  I remember reading it again and again.  I wanted to be a mommy and a nurse at a young age.  (My mother had put this in the book). Then as I got older, I did not want to be a mommy. (Some of it was fear of childbirth, and maybe also knowing I would have to take care of a child).  I later decided that writer, and possibly an English teacher is what I wanted to be.
I DID take a CNA class after high school.  I got the certificate for nursing.  I did not use it however.  I went to Lakeland College for a while.  I did not decide on a major- undecided in Associates of Arts is what I pursued.  I thought of going into journalism,  I had been accepted to EIU in Charleston.  I never went.  I guess I just was too unsure of myself.
  I met Andy, I didn't seem to be unsure about him.  When he asked me to marry him, I said yes.    I would have to move to Indianapolis where he was attending ITT tech.  I was unsure about that of course.
Look at me now though.  I have been happily married for 12 years this year, Andy and I have 4 beautiful daughters. WOW!  Way back when, I could  hardly imagine that I would have any of this.  God has been so good!  I used to be unsure if I would get married or if someone could even love me! 
   I have wondered about writing.  I have wrote a few things here and there.  Well, writing a blog IS writing.  Something I have THOUGHT about for years.