Riding mower

I always have wondered why so many men act like mowing on a riding lawnmower is hard work.  I mean, it is just sitting, riding.  At our church, we have a riding mower.  Well, Andy usually uses it.  He told me I was a terrible stick picker-upper, so he was just going to have me mow the front church yard while he picked up sticks. (I found out as I mowed that he had missed some sticks also, easy to do when grass is slightly taller).  Well, I ended up mowing the whole yard.  He didn't come back out when I had the front finished, and I just kept going.
I was having fun.  I thought it was neat mowing on a riding mower.  It is simple work.  Just drive, shift for faster speeds, or hold break to reverse then go forward again.  Now,  I did not like that the sun was beating down on me, or the occasional grass that flung itself at me.  But for the most part, I did enjoy it.
I told Andy afterward that I had liked driving it.  He said apparently.  I guess he thought that I would come get him when I finished the front yard.  He had not said that though so I didn't.  I did feel more tired than usual later. I did feel sweaty and dirty also.  I figured out why my father in law wears ear plugs while he mows. ( I had a vibrating noisy sound in my ears for a slight bit afterward).
I know that a riding mower is not a toy, and did not use it as such!  But I am more than willing to ride than just mow with a regular mower. (Andy does mow our lawn).

Feeling frustrated!

I have intended this blog for writing.  I am writing.  But the first few blogs, I have been very critical of every word that I have typed.  I am not going to do that anymore.  The more I do that, the less pleasure I am going to have in writing in the first place.  I am frustrated with myself for being critical.  I need to write this in my way, my style, and not worry about what others may think or say!  I am not even going to go back and read what I have written this time!
So I say.  I paused just now to start a new paragraph.  I almost read the first paragraph.  Okay, I should check my writing some I am sure, but it took me forever to post the other blogs.   Just so I could portray a few thoughts.  I added to them, then deleted.  I changed the way I said some things.
I want this to be relaxed writing.  At least, in the sense, that I do not overly critique myself.  I want this to be like a journal that I am sharing with others.  I love to write.  I love to write letters. (when I have time).  I love to put words on empty pages.  I like to write poetry which I haven't done much of lately.  I have many unfinished stories.  I want to do this. 
So, I am going to try to relax, and just have fun with this.  And hopefully get a background I want to stay on it.  The last background went away.  I thought that I saved it, but now it is gone.  I can not find it again.  I will spell check this.  But I am not going to reread every detail of it, just so I can think later that I am not sure I like the post. 
I want my writing to be natural.  The way I talk to friends in letters.  (well, at least sometimes, I over analyze them sometimes too)/  What fun will it be to do that?  If this blog is crazy, unorganized and dumb, oh well.  I will get over it.  I will reread it later!  (I will decide then if I like it).

Let us go to the house of the Lord.

"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together" Hebrews 10:25a

I was NOT at church this past Sunday morning.   I had a sick kiddo.  RaeAnn had came down with a cold.  So I was home with her.  Now Reagan and Morgan are sick.  So I probably will not be attending services tomorrow.  I do not like to miss.  Even when I end up in the nursery with Macy, sometimes missing the sermon, I believe, it is important to be there. 
Not just for me.  I need to be there for my family,  I want to show the girls that it is important to go to the Lord's house on Sundays, and to a midweek service.    I enjoy the fellowship with other believers as well.
  Sometimes I am tired on Sunday mornings, sometimes I feel kind of ho hum, and just don't feel like going to church.  I do not stay home though.  I go.  I need to be fed from God's Word.  I need to sing with other believers.  I feel like my week is out of place without attending the house of God.  When we go on vacation trips, Andy finds us a place of worship to meet with other believers.  We do not take vacations from the house of God.  As a born again believer, I need to go.
The devil would love for me to stay home, missing out on the food I need.  I read God's Word daily,  but from church, I can get more spiritual food.  This helps me to grow in Christ. So I'm hoping that by this next Sunday, everyone is well again, so we can all attend together.

Hearing

"In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried to my God: and he did hear my voice out of his temple, and my cry did enter into his ears."  2 Samuel 22:7

I was in a talkative mood tonight as we drove back to my mother in laws after church.  After awhile of just me talking, I asked Andy if he was listening.  He pretended to take out (or put in, I couldn't tell which) earplugs.   Anyway, it was supposed to be a sign of him not listening.   I had talked all that time, and did he really hear anything I said to him?  I'm not sure.  To his credit, he had worked all night, then not had much sleep today.  I know when I am half asleep, I'm not always fully listening.
Well, I was thinking about God.  He doesn't close his ears to His children.  He listens.  Even at 4 am!  He doesn't get sleepy, He pays attention.  I am glad that He hears me.  I know, to my shame, I should pray more than I do.   I do not cry into the Lord as often as I should.  Yes, I get busy with 4 children.  Yes, I have work I need to do.  But I do need to pray and pray often.
I do know this also- that God will hear when I am distressed, troubled, or even happy.  He is ready to hear from me.  "Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer."  Psalms 61:1   I love that He is ready to listen me.

What to be...

Okay, this may be simple and sweet.  (Or unsweet if I bore my readers).
My mom filled out a school year by year book for me.  I remember reading it again and again.  I wanted to be a mommy and a nurse at a young age.  (My mother had put this in the book). Then as I got older, I did not want to be a mommy. (Some of it was fear of childbirth, and maybe also knowing I would have to take care of a child).  I later decided that writer, and possibly an English teacher is what I wanted to be.
I DID take a CNA class after high school.  I got the certificate for nursing.  I did not use it however.  I went to Lakeland College for a while.  I did not decide on a major- undecided in Associates of Arts is what I pursued.  I thought of going into journalism,  I had been accepted to EIU in Charleston.  I never went.  I guess I just was too unsure of myself.
  I met Andy, I didn't seem to be unsure about him.  When he asked me to marry him, I said yes.    I would have to move to Indianapolis where he was attending ITT tech.  I was unsure about that of course.
Look at me now though.  I have been happily married for 12 years this year, Andy and I have 4 beautiful daughters. WOW!  Way back when, I could  hardly imagine that I would have any of this.  God has been so good!  I used to be unsure if I would get married or if someone could even love me! 
   I have wondered about writing.  I have wrote a few things here and there.  Well, writing a blog IS writing.  Something I have THOUGHT about for years.